Shock and Taranchula Days

The fear. Oh the fear.

Shock can either overwhelm us to a state of catatonic paralysis, or it can invigorate us to change the world. It all depends on how you experience it.

It can be the death of someone loved, a divorce, the loss of a career, an earth event such as an earthquake, an event such as 911, the end of a relationship, or many other things. Being emptied suddenly of all that is normal, secure and tangible, a shock throws us without warning over a cliff into blinding darkness.

The developing person goes through the same process as the old soul. Shock. The sun is rising in the west and you’re suddenly in free fall, with a blinding rain slashing against your face. All without seeing the bottom or the end.

Breathe into the fall, and feel the impact of the importance of the shock. There is no way to ignore it or deny it exists.

Feel the pain of the loss fully, without pretending it doesn’t exist, and you are able to pass into the next stage more quickly.

Shock doesn’t last long, unless we paralyze ourselves with fear or with blind denial. This paralysis is not good. It slows down the process, and we relive the trauma over and over as if it were happening now. If the fear doesn’t sharpen the senses to take action then we need help.

Shock is a transient phase. Here’s why:

It is like molten rock coming up from inside the earth to form the new crust. This mid ocean ridge brings up the melted rock and as it cools to about 300C the iron ions empathize and align themselves with the polarity of magnetic North. They can move while they are in the liquid state.

When they cool they are set permanently.

People are like this.

A shock melts all the previous structures in life, as plates and stresses converge and smash against each other, and form new molten crust. The shocked person loses their routine and mindset and ideas of truth and love and code of conduct, and pours into their new surrounding. When they cool enough, they align with the magnetism of their new surrounding. They become set with a new magnetic north.

Their new world has a new magnetic north for which they align all their thoughts and dreams and actions. This is the ideology that the person now lives by: the code of conduct, the hopes, the definitions of success and love and fulfillment, the idea of what is possible for them.

As we expand and develop we create a new world.

If there is enough force then we make the Rocky Mountains. We make something majestic and with impact.

It’s all about timing and moving past the traumas that come to us. Whether we asked for them or not.

Take away the angle of fairness, of whether you deserved it, or if it was done with proper social conduct. Make an assessment internally and then move on. We cannot rule the events in the universe. We cannot choose or control another person. We cannot tell others what rules they must live by. They make their own code as we do for ourselves. We must find the path of least resistance that bring us to our own desires.

Take advantage of the shock to create a new magnetism. Go through the cycle of mourning: the shock, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. Feel each fully and with honesty.

After this time then new ideas will come to you, and you will be liquid enough to take advantage of them.

The liquid stage comes  with this shock. But it doesn’t last long.

Accept a helping hand if you need it, but only as much as you really need. As you cool into a new magnetic polarity you will solidify into the helper’s magnetic north if you align with them. Create your own magnetic north, with your own ideas, your own ideology of hope, of love, of kindness and peace. Think of what you want to include in your life and these truths become the new magnetic north that you can navigate your life by. These ideas come to you as you come out of the quiet time of honestly examining anger, bargaining (trying to keep a piece of what you had at your own expense), depression and then acceptance. After that new ideas come.

This is where abuse can come in. If you turn to someone else for too much support, if they rescue you and then continue to rescue you you will align with. Without taking the effort to go through the pain and fear alone of addressing the shock and waiting for the new ideas to arrive, then you will cool into their magnetic north. And it is solid once it cools.

Abusive relationships and cults can recruit from people in shock and transition. It can even be a cult of two. Once cooled, the vulnerable one becomes set and will defend the abuser and support them even when they themselves are being harmed, unless they are removed and shocked again by a more powerful force.

Be glad for the shock. Not the scary part at the beginning, because that part is horrible. Not being able to sleep or eat or think is horrible.

But be thankful for what it brings with it: the ability to be liquid. Build your own strength. Mind small matters and small movements. Keep to yourself for a time so you aren’t influenced easily. Shock makes you easily influenced until you have decided on your own new magnetic north.

New things will come. Clarity and new ideas that help you experience more of your own unique self. Ideas of new things to do and places to go. You will meet people who are part of the new world you will have.

You will feel excited again. You will feel love and belonging and excitement about life. I promise.

Be thankful towards someone who rescues you, because we all need to be rescued at times.

I had a rescuer a bunch of years ago. My rescuer wore shining armour. He could do no wrong. He swooped in and cared for me like I was a baby. I was a baby and I needed it. The sun shone for him, it was him, and I was the moon reflecting his light.

I was rescued until I had enough energy to leave and become my own sun.

It pained to learn to save myself. I’m so very grateful for it and for him. I will love him forever for it.

Now we can both shine and create our own energy. The time of tarantulas, dark and unsafe and deadly, had passed and I was okay to rescue myself.

I’m watching this go on with another person now. The rescuer and the rescuee, and it reminds me of how grateful I was for my rescuer. It was many years after that I could see him for something other than a god.

Be thankful for the shining armour. Shining and gold. But make your own world. Be mentored and learn, be supported and cared for, then spend enough time alone to decide your own magnetic north.

Move past the stage where they are a god who rescues you, and you will be able to create happiness that they and others can share with you. Don’t stay under their wing too long, or it will keep you from learning to fly where you choose. You will feel that you have earned the right to stand where you are standing. Free to fly where you wish to fly.

You will create a new world, with a new magnetic north that is hope, and love, and truth, and beauty, and excitement and peace. Your own world.

Tarantula Days
words and music Elaine Diane Taylor

© 2000 Intelligentsia Media Inc.
All rights reserved. Unreleased. Casual recording.

Hallelujah
words and music Leonard Cohen
performance and arrangement Elaine Diane Taylor

performance copyright Intelligentsia Media Inc.
Used by Permission. All rights reserved.
Available on iTunes.

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